Stuff Happens.

nearing a year of marriage.  whoa.  what happened?  stuff. stuff happened.

wild. crazy. fun. mischevious. charming. fun.

here are a few little notes of things we’ve learned along the way.  hard, yes.  amberly’s angry voice included, yes.  love, yes. chaos. red rum, almost.

1. honeymoon. period.

what we learned.  amberly likes to sleep.  we like food.  we love cruises.  we hate expensive alcohol.   south beach, art deco hotel, wonderful.  all restaurants with eastern european women outside, weird.  walk 5 blocks to find a splendidly legit italian pizza place, score.  and we’re talking like too legit to quit.  then we went home, home to an apartment we thought would be big enough, home to get a dog a month later, home to work too much, study too much, and home to stuff beautiful fine gifts that we have no room for into tiny cabinets.  tiny, fabulous, well decorated cabinets.

2. carson’s fault

shortly after the wedding, carson learned that although he may not have control over what is going on in the universe it may still be his fault.  amberly surprised him for his birthday with a trip, that up til then she had clearly detested.  sailing.  college alum sailing.  in september, no wind.  well, on our way to college station, sitting on a beautiful exit ramp, BAM.  in the back, we were sitting, and BAM.  naturally, it was carson’s fault, because he, like magneto should have been able to stop the car.  he learned. now he expects it.  lesson 1, down.

3. yuck. eww. ok.

preparation for legendary arguments about toilet seats and toothpaste was well spent.  i really could have used like gladiator boot camp though. your toothpaste spit is gross, no brushing your teeth in the shower.  as for my mass amounts of hair in the drain, no big.  your whiskers in the sink, no.  my make-up on the counter, yes.  also, please note…the toilet seat, goes down, unless you would like to be kissed by the dog that drank out of it.

4. verbal vomit = verbally separated

i would like to think that everything in life could be solved by organizing data into an excel spreadsheet, complete with pivot tables.  thus providing data to support a succinct and marvelous powerpoint presentation.  false. we really could get a lot of things done if we organized are thoughts in this way.  one of us is analytically talented, but takes 20 minutes t0 come to a simple answer.  the other one is a highly efficient and gifted communicator.  you can imagine how those two go together.  luckily, we are both extremely reasonable and considerate.  unfortunately, we don’t always get to that point at the beginning.  typically there is verbal vomit followed by a verbal separation period, we’ll get to it eventually.

5. sleepy. cranky. and catty…those are the 2 dwarfs that live in our house.

not going to bed angry used to be a rule we had, that we wouldn’t do it. epic fail.  you cannot possibly complete a conversation, much less come to an accurate conclusion when he’s sleepy from working, your cranky from studying, and one of you is just plain catty.  and yes, one of you will fall asleep 3.4 seconds after finishing a sentence.  somehow the fun studying together we did in college is no more.  perhaps it’s because there is no way to make 20 pages on social diffusion fun.  working with psychos all day and coming home to a borderline wife is probably not much fun either.  at least we don’t take drugs.

6. trashy.

i hate trash. unfortunately, i also hate taking out the trash.  carson probably did not anticipate discussing things  like whether or not the trash can is full.  if you have to put a cinder block on top of it and press down with all your might it is probably full.  one little trash can in the kitchen and 1 in the bathroom is not enough.  simple human, please.

7. hey there delilah.

cute. fluffy. friendly.  delilah joined our all too humble abode about a month after we got married.  we love her and she loves us.  a rescue at 3 years old was a much better idea then a puppy.  dog = kid training, definitely.  at least with delilah.  we can always count on her to drop the ball at our feet the second we walk in the door, crawl in bed and lay right on dad’s pillow when he leaves for the day, and most importantly she thinks she must come on all car rides.  she likes to drive-thru braum’s and get a jr. dip of homemade vanilla.  she likes to bark at people that don’t look like mom and dad.  she hates bikers.  if there is a bone or a piece of pizza crust hidden in the house, she will find it and it will be hers.  dogs can also operate ziploc bags housing chewy sticks inside.  8 chewy sticks out of a pack of 16 in a day.  for now, it’s mom, dad, and the dog.

8. google translator please.

“i’m ready when you are” actually means, “my-blood-sugar-is-dropping-and-I’m-about-to-pass-out-can-we-please-go-to-dinner-and-do-you-really-not-know-where-your-keys-are?”  “i’m fine” really means, “you better not ask, because it may get ugly.”  “you’re such a man” = “you sweat too much and need to shave, please.”

9.  work = money. money = school.  school=more work.

wait what?  maybe i was mis-informed.  the cycle begins.  i’ve finished a 1/3 of my degree so far, and spent more money, and done more work.  carson is going back to school for his mba so he can do more work.  but, we’ll both be done with school.  it better be as fabulous as we hope.  a house will be wonderful.  the same schedule will be wonderful.  not having to spend nights writing papers will be wonderful.  what will i do with myself.

10.  beef bourguig-yum

he likes grilled chicken and brown rice.  i like a savory delicious pot of beef bourguignon (or mom’s pot roast whenever that isn’t available).  this leads to a dilemma, not to mention it isn’t extremely favorable to cook for an hour each night for two people.  nor does carson care whether it is bland or scumptiously delicious.  one night though, i did cook beef bourguignon.  adding everything to the pan step by step was so satisfying.  the house smelled delicious.  the wine was delicious.  that was it.  ok, ok i did make a pork roast one night.  i like roasting things.  carson likes using a cast iron skillet to burn a poor cow and make the house fill with smoke until delilah is doing stop-drop-and-roll.  but it was all delicious.  a functional kitchen would help.  no apartment has a big enough kitchen.  we will cook more.  i promise.

share with us your trials and tribulations.  share with us your laughter.  we laugh, at ourselves, it helps.  more to come.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s